Afghan student in Colorado outsmarts his school bullies after years of struggle
THORNTON, Colo. — When newborn Fawad Ahmadzai was crying his first cry at a Kabul hospital in October 2002, his parents struggled to picture the future of their first kid as the U.S. invasion of Afghanistan was just entering into its second year. Twenty years later, Fawad is wrapping up his freshman year at CU Boulder on a full ride scholarship. But it was far from an easy ride.
At age 7, Fawad moved with his family from Afghanistan to Thornton, Colorado. His parents sacrificed the life they had built and careers they had in their home country in hopes of a better future for their children, who barely knew English at first.
“We were in low-level ESL (English as a Second Language) classes, struggling even in those classes,” Fawad chuckles as he remembers his early days in Colorado. The language barrier made it hard for him to fit in and make friends.
What kept him going, however, was the goal he had set for himself: to make his parents proud. By seventh grade, Fawad was not only fluent in English, but he was also taking honor classes and preparing to join a gifted school that really tested his resolve.
Different Shades of Bullying
Going to school with gifted students who were taking college-level classes, acing standardized exams, and winning national chess championships shook Fawad’s self-confidence.
“I was like, ‘I’m nothing,’” he said. “I thought I had accomplished something really big, but when I came to this school, I was like, ‘no way.’”
It was during this phase that Fawad faced bullying, like many other students his age. One out of every five students nationwide reports being bullied, according to the government resource stopbullying.org. The rate is even higher among immigrant youth like Fawad.
Struggling with intellectual bullying, which typically involves belittling peers based on the level of education and qualifications, Fawad became too shy to present in front of class or even speak to avoid the mocking of his fellow students. He vividly remembers a day when he tried to break his silence during a class discussion, only to regret it later.
“I thought you were shy, but I guess you are really stupid” Fawad uttered the words his classmate told him with a painful smile. “I remember exactly what she said because it really hurt me.”
Fawad also faced physical bullying numerous times. At one point, a peer shoved him and slapped his arm during a basketball game for no apparent reason. “I couldn’t do anything about it,” he recalls. “He was taller, he was stronger.”
But perhaps the most painful form of bullying Fawad encountered was on social media. His peers created a Messenger group chat to make fun of him, before shortly adding him to the group to read their hurtful comments about his English and being different.
Although reporting cyberbullying is a key prevention tactic, Fawad did not open up to anybody about it. He was also worried it would overburden his parents, so he kept it all for himself. In doing so, he became very lonely, and depression took over.
On the Verge of Suicide
As the bullying intensified, Fawad considered taking his own life. He locked himself up in his room and googled the least painful ways to commit suicide. As the tears were rolling down his eyes, he was almost settled on doing it in the basement when no one was home.
“I had these waves of outbursts, outbursts of just crying, crying, and crying,” said Fawad. “The source of all those tears were the years of bullying, the years of not being enough, being belittled.”
But the thought of his parents coming home to find their elder son dead had the power to call off his plans. Fawad is not alone when it comes to suicide ideation. Almost 20% of high school students have considered taking their own lives, and bully victims are two to nine times more likely to do so.
After overcoming his suicidal thoughts, Fawad had another battle to fight against bullying. He decided he would no longer allow others to define who he is.
When some tried during ninth and tenth grade to push his boundaries, Fawad stood up to them. Soon, his peers realized he was a different person who wouldn’t take it anymore.
By shifting his perspective, Fawad’s experience with bullying that had once pushed him to the verge of suicide was now serving as a catalyst for success.
“I could use that as just fuel,” said Fawad. “When it becomes really difficult and challenging, I just recollect everything those people told me, and I use it as fuel to push me forward.”
Outsmarting the Bullies
Once Fawad overcame bullying, he turned into a shining star at school and beyond. About a year after contemplating suicide in his room, Fawad ranked first in ninth grade at the gifted school.
He made it to varsity soccer and set multiple of his school’s records in fitness. Fawad also joined a few clubs, which boosted his confidence further.
Realizing that others in his local community may be going through similar challenges with bullying and adapting to the culture, he became active in Muslim Youth for Positive Change, a local NGO striving to empower Muslim and immigrant youth. In his role as a youth impact leader in the organization, he introduced The Pathways to Success Program to help youth with career exploration and college applications, among other things.
Graduating with a 4.0 GPA, Fawad got accepted into all three Colorado schools he had applied to and was awarded the Daniels Scholarship. He is now a Business major at CU Boulder pursuing his own pathway to success.
But he is very keen on the success of others too, including his younger siblings, youth in the local community, and others who may be facing similar challenges.
“If I could still do it despite all these hardships,” Fawad says. “Imagine how many other people can be inspired.”
If you or anyone you know would benefit from anti-bullying and anti-suicide services, refer to the resources below:
- National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800.273.8255
- For Spanish speakers: 888.628.9454
- For people with hearing disabilities: 800.799.4889
- PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center: 952.838.9000
- Friends Colorado: 720.722.3102
- Colorado Department of Education’s Bullying Prevention Program: 303.866.6600